Slightly heartbroken this morning. While I will get to what happened this morning, the reason for the heavy weight on my heart is the realisation that this is just the beginning….
K was in her usual ‘let me sleep for 2 more minutes’ mood.Understandable. Poor baby does a full day of school (till 5pm!) and then plays in the park and then at home and then…. you get the picture, the day never ends. So mornings aren’t very easy! But she’s a sweetheart. It takes just a quick promise of a new story and she’s up and about, all set to take a bath.
This morning was different. The reluctance was persistent. The stubbornness was forceful. And the decision was final. She did not want to go to school.
For me, it was a morning nightmare. Not because it takes great patience and effort to convince her once she firms up her mind (the trick is to change tracks before she does) but also because it sets internal alarm bells ringing.
“what’s troubling her? is someone misbehaving at school? is she afraid of something or someone?”
And answers werent forthcoming…
Despite her whining and resisting, I managed to get her dressed and out the door. At every opportunity she tried to run back. Totally out of character. More panic inside me.
The few reasons she offered didn’t sound convincing and not stuff she would feel so strongly about – too much writing work, don’t like the food, etc.
We got close to the bus stop and she just turned around and ran back home. Momma gave up. Something was wrong.
So we sat down on the steps. Two friends just sharing the moment and trying to get the monster out in the open.
It slowly came tumbling out. the class bully. she stole her pencils. she stole her erasers. she refused to be her basketball partner. she made her fight about everything.
my poor baby…. so small and so many anxieties. and momma wanted to make it all go away in a flash.
this too shall pass. this too shall be tackled.
but the heart is broken. she’s on the road to growing up and momma can only hold her hand for so far… class bullies, peer pressure, the need to fit in ….. Some battles she will need to fight on her own. some battles will be lost.
She’ll be brave. She’ll have a fighting spirit. She’ll stand up for what she thinks is right. She’ll let it be known what she thinks is wrong.
Sometimes she will stand alone.
Be brave little girl. The real world awaits you.